"Perhaps it is not what one is searching for that one could contemplate over for greater joy and self-knowledge, but what one is avoiding. Accepting the fact that unpleasant feelings (those things I tend to avoid) are hardwired into being human helped develop my capacity to be with the undesirable moments in life and not wander off subconsciously into fantasy land, a place I have been to many times. Reminding myself within such moments that emotions and thoughts, like moments, are transient, and quite beautiful each in their own way, has also eased the inquietude of certain points in time.
Within a joyful moment it requires very little effort to notice and observe the pleasing effects this state has on myself. Within a moment filled with fear and/or sadness it can be a bit more difficult to see the beauty of such emotions, but its there. The power these emotions have on my entire being fascinates me almost every time I am experiencing one of them. From the change in thought patterns, to the intense physical sensations, to the transformation of my perspective on people, places and things, remaining present to observe and experience these once overbearing feelings has become an engaging and amiable reality. I want to say a lesson in the self within each moment but that’s a tad banal for this posting. A genuine connection to one's life sounds better.
All of these sensations and neurological systems (and so much more) within one delicate human, its too amazing not to be awestricken. What kind of world would we live in if all people had, or chose to develop, the capacity to be with fear, sadness and anger?
I will remind myself of this post the next time I have trouble sensing the beauty in a painful moment."
~ Jennifer Aberman, 2015
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